NICE TO MEET YOU.
It’s, uh, nice to meet you too.
Yeah. Sorry, don’t mean to be rude but…who are you?
NO IT’S COOL. I’M ACTUALLY YOU.
YEAH. THIS IS PRETTY AWKWARD FOR ME.
Yeah, no, I guess it would be. I mean, I know it would be. I mean it is. Ugh. Talking is hard.
How do other people manage?
THEY PROBABLY TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE. ALSO THEY DON’T JUST STAY INSIDE AND WRITE WEIRD CONVERSATIONS WITH THEMSELVES ON THE INTERNET. BUT HEY, NO JUDGMENT.
I mean…that still sounds kind of judgey, though?
SO YOU KNOW THIS WHOLE BLOG THING YOU’RE TRYING OUT?
Well, I assume by “blog thing” you’re referring to the soon-to-be worldwide phenomenon known as Giant-Size Fa–
YES. THAT’S THE ONE.
I was going for something that shows I’m into comics but also shows my readers I have a funny side.
Did you know Marvel Comics actually published a comic in the 70’s called Giant Size Man-Thing? Like, how does that happen? Did nobody catch that? Anyway I changed a letter and now I have a title. It’s like wordplay! Also this way Marvel can’t sue.
IT’S VERY CLEVER. YOU ARE VERY CLEVER.
Don’t patronize me.
NOT WHY I’M HERE ANYWAY.
I’m guessing this is about the introduction, then.
WELL, YOU HAVE BEEN WORKING ON IT FOR A WHILE NOW.
Yeah, y’know, I’ve been tinkering with it. Getting into a flow, y’know, finding my rhythm. Looking for the perfect way to communicate what I’m really, like…about. Y’know?
YEAH. I KNOW.
You get it?
I GET IT. WRITING IS A PROCESS, AND I DON’T MEAN TO RUSH THINGS. REALLY. STILL, IS IT POSSIBLE YOU’RE OVERTHINKING IT JUST A BIT?
RIGHT. I MEAN, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU REWRITTEN THIS CONVERSATION ALONE?
This might be the second time. Or fifth?
I THINK THAT’S WHY I’M HERE, TO SNAP YOU…US…OUT OF IT.
All cards on the table, I’ve been at this for two hours now and this has been the furthest I’ve gotten.
HOW ABOUT THIS: ASSUMING YOU HAVEN’T FRIGHTENED YOUR READERS OFF WITH YOUR SLOW DESCENT INTO MADNESS, WHY DON’T YOU JUST TELL THEM A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF AND WHAT EXACTLY YOU’RE TRYING TO DO HERE?
I don’t think that’ll work.
WHO CARES? LIFE IS SHORT AND YOU’VE GOT STUFF TO DO.
Well alright then!
Hello there, distinguished guest! I’m Z, and at the age of six I drew a picture of a turkey looking at itself in the mirror. To this day my mom calls it one of my greatest achievements. With the launch of this humble blog, I hope to match that grand milestone.
To put it simply, Giant Size Fan-Thing is my attempt to capture my own experience as a fan of, well, a lot of stuff, but predominantly I’m gonna be talking about comic books. I freaking love comics. Even before I started writing about them I would spend hours reading through the stories, analyzing the characters, going through their history, and looking at the writers and artists behind-the-scenes. American superhero comics are my bread and butter but in the last few years I’ve also gotten way more into manga (shorthand for “comics from Japan”). Beyond that, I’d also like a space to talk about the movies I’ve seen, the TV shows I’ve watched, the music I’m into and the anime openings I can sing along with (admittedly, not a big list). As a self-described “casual” there’s a few things I’ve picked up over the years but I know there’s a lot more I could still stand to learn, and I’d like to use this site to, for lack of a better term, document my progress.
Now I know what you’re thinking: Z, what makes your blog any different from the thousands of other professional, more established sites? Let me assure you right now, GSFT is an entirely different beast. I can personally guarantee you I will not be bogged down with silly things like “relevancy” or “experience” or “a third, equally important thing”. I’m interested in results! And money! And sweet, fleeting internet fame!
I’m not gonna lie, it’s gonna be a slow start at first. In the past, my writing output has been sporadic at best, so my plan is to use this space to re-commit myself. I don’t know how crazy my schedule will be, but tentatively I hope to publish at least twice a week. Will I be able to keep it up? Let’s not dwell on that.
On that note, I’m gonna wrap this up. This is supposed to be a quick intro after all and I’ve got to get started working on the next piece. I hope I was able to briefly entertain you, whether you actually meant to come here or not, and if you’re interested I hope you’ll check out more. I’ve got a lot of stuff planned and I’m looking forward to trying it out over the next couple weeks.
“SQUARES”? IS THAT GONNA BE YOUR THING?
I was trying to be spontaneous!
WHOA, MOVE OVER CHEVY CHASE! YOU GOT SOME COMPETITION OVER HERE!
Gimme a break, and really? Chevy Chase? Because that’s who all the kids are quoting these days.
THIS WAS GREAT. THIS WAS A GOOD START.