Fun-Size Friday | 5-8-20 | “School’s Out For Summer” Edition

It’s (inexplicably) time for another installment of Fun-Size Friday, where I skim through the last week of pop culture news, cherry-pick the stuff that’s interesting to me, and then boil my thoughts down into two hundred words or less. It’s less of a full-course meal and more of a “serving size”, in that it’s small, barely sates your appetite, and will be largely ignored by the vast majority of people. So, whether you’re fighting off a deadly pandemic, murder hornets, or just good old-fashioned boredom, Fun-Size is the sort of mindless diversion you need to get through the next three-to-five minutes of your day. I mean, maybe you don’t need it per se, but it’s been a long week and I could sure use a pick-me-up right now. Right, enough beating around the bush, let’s get to work!

Star Wars Is Now.
Star Wars Is FOrever.

The Fourth was definitely strong with us earlier this week, as Monday — May 4th aka “Star Wars Day” — dropped a fresh batch of new content for hungry fans to consume, and I don’t just mean “Baby Yoda” merchandise. Among other things, Star Wars: The Clone Wars dropped it’s final episode on Disney+, wrapping things off in appropriately grand fashion and managing to not tick too many people off. Varèse Sarabande Records announced a vinyl release of the soundtrack from the popular 1996 game Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire, composed by Joel McNeely. A new Disney+ series is in development by Leslye Headland, (Russian Dolls), and there’s talks of a new movie being directed by Taika Waititi (Thor Ragnarok, JoJo Rabbit) and co-written with Krysty Wilson-Cairns (1917). That’s…a lot to take in.

On the whole I’d say that, despite some stumbling here and there, it looks like the franchise has some pretty talented people working behind the scenes. Honestly though, even the worst parts of Star Wars have still given us some pretty entertaining stuff over the years. Suffice to say, I’ll be watching these releases with great interest.

A Link To The Past

“This is but one of the legends of which the people speak…”

I love the Legend of Zelda. I love playing it, I love reading the lore, and I love how they’re constantly take their skeleton of a premise — grab a sword; beat the bad guy; save the princess — and then adding or “tweaking” it in subsequent games. Sometimes it’s a new art style (Wind Waker), sometimes it’s a new gaming mechanic (Skyward Sword), and sometimes it’s expanding the world to five times it’s usual size (Breath of the Wild). Makes you wonder what kind of stuff didn’t make the final cut.


Enter Sammy Hall, an ex-concept artist for Retro Studios, who revealed his concept art for what could have been a very different kind of Zelda game. For starters, there would be no Link this time around, instead focusing on “the last male Sheik’s (after a genocidal ethnic-cleansing) journey transforming into the Master Sword”. Now, I don’t know how a Zelda game like that would be received but man does that sound interesting. Unfortunately it seems these images were removed from Hall’s account (along with everything else), but you can still find some of his artwork here and presumably elsewhere if you’re persistent enough. I highly recommend it.


This Week In Crazy Actors…

These days it’s getting a lot harder to tell the difference between fiction and reality, and this past week has not helped me one bit. It started off innocent enough, like the announcement that Nicolas Cage would be portraying Joe Exotic in an adaptation of the Tiger King story. See, Nicolas Cage playing a crazy lunatic is the kind of silliness I can wrap my brain around. That was fine, but then I found out about a little something called Gary Busey: Pet Judge, a new series from Amazon Prime where actor Gary Busey deals out Judge Judy-style justice on a series of pet-related cases including, and I quote, “robot raccoons”.

At this point I’m not sure where reality ends and parody begins, which is right around the point where I read the following headline: “NASA confirms Tom Cruise will make movie aboard International Space Station”. No freaking way, I think to myself. What is this, a sequel to “Tropic Thunder”? Cruise is nuts, but he’s not this nuts. This can’t be real.

It is.

It’s entirely possible I’ve been stuck inside too long, guys. Or maybe…maybe not long enough? I dunno. What do you think, Gary Busey?



In Short, It’s Late & I’ve Got Nothing

It’s been a very long and exhausting week for me and I can’t think of anything motivational to share. I already did “remember to sleep” last week and I honestly don’t think I’m ever gonna top that. Seriously, sleep feels sooo great, you guys. I mean, I suppose I’m not strictly obligated to end these things with a motivational line, although I sure would like to. Still, sometimes you don’t need to say anything deep, you just need to be there for them. I mean, if you want to be supportive for somebody you don’t need to give any deep or profound wisdom. Talk about anything: Star Wars; comic books; the last episode of Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist; just freestyle, you know? That’s what I’m doing right now and I feel pretty good about it. If we have to be alone we may as well be alone together, right?

Until next week — stay indoors, stay safe, and stay awesome!

Published by

Z Squared

Aspiring Human Being & Professional Procrastinator

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