About a year ago today, I made a spontaneous, not entirely well thought out decision to purchase a domain address and spend a substantial part of my day writing about comic books online. Actually, comic books “and things”, which was just a way to cover myself if I started to get burnt out on comic books, which, based on the fact I haven’t posted anything for about a year now, didn’t really pan out.
It was pretty basic stuff: I did a few comic book reviews, highlighted a couple movies I enjoyed, did a couple think pieces abo—
WHOA-HO-HO! “THINK PIECES”? SERIOUSLY? WOW. I KNOW IT’S TEMPTING TO REWRITE HISTORY BUT THIS IS DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO J.K. ROWLING LEVELS OF REVISIONISM HERE!
Oh no. Please, no.
ALTHOUGH, I SUPPOSE “THINK PIECES” ISN’T ENTIRELY INACCURATE. YOU ALWAYS DID SPEND A LOT MORE TIME THINKING ABOUT WRITING THAN ACTUALLY DOING THE DARNED THING.
That annoying voice…that bold, all-caps font…it can’t be.
IT IS! WASSUP, DUDE! IT’S YOUR OLD PAL: THE VOICE INSIDE YOUR HEAD. LONG TIME NO PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN.
Again with this nonsense?! A whole freaking year and I’m already falling back on the old “talking to myself” gimmick? Why do I keep doing this to myself?
I MEAN, I’M NO EXPERT, BUT I THINK IT’S BECAUSE EVER SINCE YOU WERE YOUNG YOU’VE STRUGGLED WITH PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE IN FRONT OF OTHERS, EVEN YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS, AND THE THOUGHT OF SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS – ESPECIALLY ONLINE WHERE ANY GOOMBA WITH AN INTERNET CONNECTION CAN SEE THEM AND CRUCIFY YOU FOR IT – EVEN FOR SOMETHING AS TRIVIAL AS COMIC BOOKS, IS JUST A LIIITTLE BIT MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE AT THIS POINT, AND SO THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN THINK OF EMOTIONALLY GUARDING YOURSELF AGAINST CRITICISM IS TO CREATE THIS OTHER VERSION OF YOURSELF TO BOUNCE YOUR THOUGHTS OFF OF AND MAKE JOKES AT YOUR OWN EXPENSE, TO PUT YOURSELF DOWN BEFORE THE HATERS HAVE A CHANCE.
WHATEVER, MAN. SO ARE WE BACK IN BUSINESS OR WHAT?
Can you slow down for like half a second and let me process, please? I had a lot I wanted to talk about here.
WHAT, THAT’S ALL THIS IS, ISN’T IT? YOU’RE WRITING AGAIN.
I mean, yes, but I wasn’t planning on being so abrupt about it, you know? I thought I could get to go into a bit more detail.
OH PLEASE, WE BOTH KNOW IT’S NOT THAT INTERESTING. THIS IS THE INTERNET. THERE’S LITERALLY NOTHING YOU COULD SAY ON HERE THAT WOULD SURPRISE ANYONE, SO LET’S JUST GET ON WITH IT.
It just feels a little…unceremonious.
YOU CAN ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET THE NEXT TIME YOU LEAVE FOR A YEAR WITH NO EXPLANATION. FOR NOW, LET’S STICK TO BULLET POINTS. YOU STILL PLANNING TO TALK ABOUT COMICS, CARTOONS, AND ALL MANNER OF GEEKERY?
I mean, that is pretty much the only thing I can talk about with any sort of authority. “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it”, you know?
ER, I MEAN, IT KINDA DID BREAK THOUGH. LIKE, YOU STOPPED, COMPLETELY.
I DON’T THINK YOU’RE USING THAT RIGHT. DOESN’T MATTER, MOVING ON. WHAT KIND OF POSTING SCHEDULE SHOULD READERS EXPECT MOVING FORWARD?
I don’t know, it definitely won’t be the same as before, that’s for sure. I don’t really have as much time as I used to, even compared to last year, but I still want to put out something on a more consistent basis, but I also want to have enough time to really polish it up, while also—
One post a week! One post, probably either Wednesday or Thursday. If I can make it more than a couple months just doing that, maybe we can start figuring out how to proceed from there. Happy?
IT’LL DO FOR A START, BUT DUDE, YOU BETTER NOT JUST LEAVE PEOPLE IN THE LURCH AGAIN.
I think you may be slightly overestimating how big the audience is for my writing.
I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF AS AN OPTIMIST.
I will try to be more consistent, and that’s pretty much all I can guarantee. If this is the only thing I put out all year, people can dump on me in the comments all they like.
ASSUMING THERE’S ANYONE OUT THERE WHO ACTUALLY READS THIS POST AND CARES HARD ENOUGH TO WRITE A REPLY.
I thought you were an optimist!
I CONTAIN MULTITUDES.
You’ll understand if I find that quote more than a bit unsettling coming from a voice inside my head.
I MISSED THIS. DID YOU MISS THIS?
Not even a little bit.